Thursday, November 20, 2008

stuff

I am going through alot of stuff at the monment. On tuesday it was 11 years since my brother passed and even though it isnt as fresh and raw as in the begining, the pain is still there. It acually comes as a shock as most people tell me that I should be "over it" by now. So no-one is there for me, like at the start, and I do really need someone to just say that its normal to feel this way.
Mean while my 42nd birthday is rushing towards me and since my children are growing up and away from me I am really having an identidy crisis.
I was married at 21, only 3 years after leaving school.
A mother at 22 and at 24.
I have been someones daughter, sister, wife, mother...etc all my life but I have never been me.
Who am I?
Not knowing is bad enough but finding out is really scary.
What if I dont like me? What if I am exactely the type of person that annoys the crap out of me?
All this is going on in my head and boy is it driving me crazy.
I hope the energy shifts and I get over this.
Real Soon.
see ya

3 comments:

Kristy-Lee said...

This sounds scary.

But it also sounds exciting.

This could be the time to invent a 'you' that you want to be, and then LIVE IT!

Mieke said...

Dear Angela, This is a time of opportunities for you ! See it as a new start, so much more life to discover... I can recommend you some books that helped me alot (I'm 46 and with some of the same feelings) : "Eat, pray, love" by Elisabeth Gilbert and "a new earth" by Eckhart Tolle.
And a big hugh from me... Mieke

Lisa said...

grief is a way of honouring the life of someone you cared for- never should we feel that we should be 'over it' xx